3 Reasons to Choose Collaborative Divorce

Posted by on Aug 8, 2017 in News, Resource Center | 0 comments

With so many options for transitioning your relationship from “married” to “not,” it’s hard to know which path is best for you and your family.  Here are three reasons why Collaborative Divorce may be a good choice for you: Non-Adversarial Collaborative Divorce seeks to minimize conflict and maximize the chance of coming up with the best possible solutions.  You and your spouse will be part of a team that works together to brainstorm ideas and craft an agreement that works as well as possible for the entire family.  This doesn’t mean that the process is easy: divorce is generally a challenging and difficult process no matter what.  But, it does mean that you’ll be oriented towards and encouraged to pursue solutions instead of unproductive (and expensive!) battles. Privacy In the Collaborative Divorce process, issues are resolved during private, confidential meetings instead of being litigated in a public courtroom.  The final agreements you make will be filed with the Court and will be accessible to certain people within the Court system, but your negotiation and discussion will be completely private. Empowerment Collaborative Divorce seeks to empower you to make the best decisions for yourself and your family.  Instead of handing over these major life choices to a stranger (like a Judge), the Collaborative Divorce Team works together to gather all the necessary information, brainstorm ideas, and empower you to make clear-headed, thoughtful choices for...

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Collaborative Divorce Team? What in the World Is That?

Posted by on Apr 5, 2016 in News, Resource Center, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Clients often ask me to explain what a Collaborative Divorce Team is.  People aren’t used to thinking of the divorce process as including a “team” of any kind, because many folks expect divorce to be a battle…where people work against each other instead of with each other.  Don’t get me wrong: Collaborative Divorces still involve two people (the spouses, or “clients” as we call them in Collaborative Divorce) who have opposing interests. But, instead of leaving the clients to fight each other in an effort to get a bigger piece of the pie, the Collaborative Divorce Team works together to find creative ways to meet as many of *both clients’* needs as possible and – wherever we can – expand the pie itself. The Collaborative Divorce Team consists of six people: the two clients, each client’s Collaborative Divorce attorney, a Collaborative Financial Professional (“FP”), and a Collaborative Divorce Facilitator (“CDF”).  While the attorneys are Collaboratively trained and are committed to the Collaborative process, they are still advocates and represent their respective client’s best interests.  The FP and CDF, though, are neutral.  They don’t advocate for either client, and they work instead to help both clients overcome obstacles, generate ideas, and reach agreements. Please stay tuned for my next post, which will address more in-dept each Collaborative Professional’s individual...

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Great Resource for Divorce Recovery

Posted by on Nov 15, 2014 in Links, Resource Center | 0 comments

Check out this link for great workshops and classes on divorce recovery:  http://www.beyonddivorce.com/

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NPR article on Collaborative divorce

Posted by on Oct 7, 2014 in Links, Resource Center | 0 comments

Learn more about Collaborative divorce – and hear directly from a woman who used the process for her own divorce – by listening to National Public Radio’s article on the topic: http://www.kqed.org/a/forum/R201003291000

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Reduce Divorce-Related Conflict, Help Your Kids

Posted by on Aug 27, 2014 in Resource Center | 0 comments

Let’s face it: conflict exists everywhere.  We can’t escape it in our personal or professional lives, and each day’s news headlines blare the details of of tragedies stemming from our inability to see eye-to-eye.  Despite its almost universally bad rap, though, conflict isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  Conflict helps us to more deeply understand ourselves and each other, identify and motivate to change circumstances that are causing stress and disease, and – in the best case scenario – conflict brings us closer together.  When parties to a dispute are honest about how they feel and work together to overcome it, they can find themselves in a better place both as individuals and as a team. But, conflict is a double-edged sword, and the way that parents going through a divorce handle their disputes can have enormous and l0ng-lasting negative effects on their children.  Most parents love their children deeply and are heavily invested in their children’s well-being, but are so (understandably) troubled by the divorce process that they unwittingly do things that draw their kids into the parental conflict and/or cause their kids unnecessary grief (in addition to the grief that kids unavoidably experience when a family transitions into two households). I encourage parents to think carefully about how each step they take, each word they speak, and each gesture they make affects their children.  There are also a lot of great classes available to help parents learn how to minimize the negative effects of parental conflict on their children as well as how to support their kids through the divorce process.  Being mindful of your children’s experience is the first step towards helping them survive, learn, and grow as they work through their own feelings about your...

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Maintenance: Voluntary Underemployment and Imputed Income

Posted by on Jun 5, 2014 in Resource Center | 0 comments

  In this video, attorney Sara Ross gives a brief summary of a question that comes up in many divorces: is one of the two members of the former couple “underemployed” (i.e. earning less money than he/she reasonably could be)? How this question is treated depends on the case, but sometimes the case needs to be treated as if this person was making more money than he/she actually is. Transcription Sara Ross: We run into issues in maintenance with whether someone is voluntarily under-employed. This often happens in families where one person raised the children and the other person worked, and someone’s been out of the work force for a long time, and the question is: “Could they earn more than they actually are right now?” In that case, we look at whether or not we should impute income or pretend that the person is making income because they could be but...

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Divorce

Posted by on Jun 14, 2013 in Resource Center | 0 comments

The mere mention of the word “divorce” often strikes fear, anger, sadness or any combination of these emotions into the hearts of even the strongest people. Mental health experts tell us that divorce is one of the most stressful experiences a person can endure. Here are some links and books, recommended by Ross Family Law Specialists.  http://blogsondivorce.com/uncategorized/a-comparison-between-actual-war-and… http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/04/21/is-american-nonviolence-pos… Sitting In The Fire by Arnold...

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Parenting

Posted by on Jun 14, 2013 in Resource Center | 0 comments

The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family by Karyn Purvis, David Cross, and Wendy Sunshine Parenting Apart: How Separated and Divorced Parents Can Raise Happy and Secure Children by Christina McGhee The Good Divorce: How to Walk Away Financially Sound and Emotionally Happy, by Raul Felder and Barbara Victor Parenting with Love and Logic, by Foster Cline and Jim Fay

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Collaborative Law

Posted by on May 20, 2013 in Resource Center | 0 comments

  Divorce is a sensitive personal matter.  No single approach is right for everyone. Many couples do find the no-court process known as Collaborative Law (Collaborative Practice/Collaborative Divorce) a welcome alternative to the often destructive, uncomfortable aspects of conventional divorce. If these values are important to you, Collaborative Law is likely to be a workable option for you: I want to maintain the tone of respect, even when we disagree. I want to prioritize the needs of our children. My needs and those of my spouse require equal consideration, and I will listen objectively. I believe that working creatively and cooperatively solves issues. It is important to reach beyond today’s frustration and pain to plan for the future. I can behave ethically toward my spouse. I choose to maintain control of the divorce process with my spouse, and not relegate it to the courts. Does this path sound and feel comfortable for you?  Please contact Sara Ross about your situation to help you make the decision.   What is Collaborative Practice? Collaborative Law is a voluntary dispute resolution process in which parties settle without resort to litigation.  In Collaborative Law: The parties sign a collaborative participation agreement describing the nature and scope of the matter; The parties voluntarily disclose all information which is relevant and material to the matter that must be decided; The parties agree to use good faith efforts in their negotiations to reach a mutually acceptable settlement; Each party must be represented by a lawyer whose representation terminates upon the undertaking of any contested court proceeding; The parties may engage mental health and financial professionals whose engagement terminates upon the undertaking of any contested court proceeding; and The parties may jointly engage other experts as needed. Collaborative Practice, including Collaborative Law and interdisciplinary Collaborative Divorce, is a new way for you to resolve disputes respectfully — without going to court — while working with trained professionals who are important to all areas of your life. The term incorporates all of the models developed since IACP’s Minnesota lawyer Stu Webb created Collaborative Law ideas in the 1980s. The heart of Collaborative Law or Collaborative Divorce (also called “no-court divorce,” “divorce with dignity,” “peaceful divorce”) is to offer you and your spouse or partner the support, protection, and guidance of your own lawyers without going to court. Additionally, Collaborative Divorce allows you the benefit of child and financial specialists, divorce coaches and other professionals all working together on your team. In Collaborative Law, core elements form your contractual commitments, which are to: Negotiate a mutually acceptable settlement without having courts decide issues. Maintain open communication and information sharing. Create shared solutions acknowledging the highest priorities of all.   *Most information on this page is reproduced with permission from the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (“IACP”) website (www.collaborativepractice.com).  The original text from IACP has been edited slightly to fit the context of this website.   Collaborative Divorce: A Safe Place (http://video.collaborativepractice.com/video/default.html Collaborative Divorce Professionals of Boulder County:http://www.collaborativedivorceboulder.org/ International Academy of Collaborative Professionals:http://www.collaborativepractice.com/ Colorado Collaborative Divorce Professionals:http://www.coloradocollaborativedivorceprofessionals.com/ Transcription Sara Ross: Collaborative law is a new way of resolving family disputes so that we look at transforming the family. Instead of ending a relationship, we are transforming the relationship to help the family rebuild a different kind of life. And the idea...

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